Blog of R'kik D'nec

So if you navigated here from my AIM profile, you probably noticed that the new link to my blog says "Something blue". Besides completing the phrase, which was stretched to begin with, I thought it was appropriate in a twisted sort of way. Really, I just wanted to highlight the newness of MySpace and Facebook seemed to be the appropriate 'old' correlation. I put Audioscrobbler... and yes, I'm still going to call it Audioscrobbler instead of "Last FM", (just like it shall always be Presti's instead of Gilly's in my mind)... as the something borrowed because I kind of stole the idea from Mark. And finally, no, nobody is getting married, so stop jumping to conclusions. Anyway... the blog got stuck with the "Something blue", and just as well, considering the numerous times people have told me that what I post always seems depressing. So I'll concede that most of my previous blog entries have been less than optimistic. I liken it to the way people sometimes only have bad memories of someone who's passed away or that they've broken up with, instead of recalling the good times. (Yes, you can tell I just watched the new episode of Six Feet Under last night.) It just seems that more often than not I'm motivated to post by the lows rather than the highs of my life, the gutters rather than the strikes, if you will. (You'd better be able to figure out that allusion on your own...) By the way, now that I'm actually keeping up with my blog again, I'd kind of like to see some comments to be assured that my reader base has not completely abandoned me. And now, after that lengthy introduction, we come to the actual topic of this post... (As if my elegant prose were not enough to captivate you.) ...which is the explanation you've all been craving. Why is my blog the haphazard stroke of "blue" that it is? Well, in my mini-blog on MySpace, I called this my "electronic shrink". I guess in a way it has become a sort of self-induced psychotherapy. There are times when everyone just has to let their emotions out somehow. I've said before how I'm the type of person especially who otherwise would keep turning things over and over in my head until I go crazy from it. I'm also the kind of person who would like to be straightforward with everything. I've said before how I often wish that people would just say what was on their minds and not try and lie to cover up their emotions. It's astonishing how many profiles are out there looking for people who "don't play games". I'm honestly not even sure what that means, but this whole "deception for the sake of civility" thing and the holding back of true emotions, is about the best guess I can come up with. In that case, I'm one-hundred percent in favor of abolishing "the game". In a way, my blog is a hesitant step towards being more honest with everyone. In reality though, I still have a long way to go. I make my little rants about whatever's bothering me at the time, but I still find myself holding back, speaking in codes, and trying not to divulge so much information as would make me vulnerable. That process of writing things down, though, and processing my thoughts in a way as to make them somewhat understandable, helps me deal with things. It really is a therapy of sorts. I guess what I really wanted to say in the end is, don't judge me by what I write on this website. Day to day and moment to moment, I can usually get along pretty well. My life is not all doom and gloom as one might think from only reading my postings. It's like looking at a rainbow through a filter and seeing only the blue. You miss the true beauty....

Damn I wish I could be poetic.

Current Mood: If only it were as simple as typing a word and having it be so...
Currently listening to: You Forgot It in People by Broken Social Scene
Last movie I saw: The Big Lebowski (again)
One line review: Hilarious, a comedy classic, easily stands up to repeated viewings.
On a scale of 0-5 sucks (0 being the best): 0.5 sucks