Blog of R'kik D'nec

Saturday...1:28 AM... Here I sit, door closed, window open, alone in my room. Not an uncommon situation, really. It brings back a lot of memories. I like my alone time, but sometimes it makes me remorseful. I'm trying to sort through this movie I just watched. (Mulholland Drive) Let me tell you, it's not an easy task. My best explanation is alternate dimensions, but even then it doesn't really make sense. It's like the plot exists outside the normal fabric of time and continuity. One thing is really another, but even then, it's not. I can't explain it, you just have to see it for yourself. So anyway, while I commend a film like this for daring to be different, I still don't think it works as well as it could. I mean, I'm all for things being confusing as long as it ties together somehow eventually. I think that the audience expects and in some way deserves that amount of resolution. I'm also into denying resolution, however, in the form of non-happy endings. Leaving the audience with the feeling that they've been cheated out of their fairy tale perfect ending is sadistically pleasurable for me. Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this. So I'm 21 now, which is in a way exciting, but also sort of a let down. Nothing has really changed. I'm still the same person I've always been. I like to think that lives are defined more by events than by some arbitrary calendar. Life lately has been rather mundane. Yeah, there was my birthday, and yeah, Thanksgiving is coming up, but time comes and time goes, and nothing seems to change. Looking back at some of my other late night loneliness sessions, even 2 or 3 years ago, I find myself in many of the same situations. Only the names and places have been changed. Things are progressing, though. I've learned a lot and have been able to clarify some of my visions. It just seems that things never come as quickly as I'd like them to. I fear for my future, I really do. What's going to happen when I get to where I want to be and still aren't satisfied? I pray that I can overcome that selfish greed, and learn to be at peace.

Current Mood: Calm
Currently listening to: Under the Table and Dreaming and Before These Crowded Streets by Dave Matthews Band
Last movie I saw: Mulholland Drive
One line review: I can't tell if it's brilliant or stupid, but at least it gets credit for being different...
On a scale of 0-5 sucks (0 being the best): 2.0 sucks